Psychology’s 8 signs you’ve found your life partner

Is the person standing in front of you the right one?

The answer to the shower question is… you can’t.

Earth has no magic tricks to tie us to another person forever; no soulmate marks; no way to tell whether your partner will stay by your side forever.

All you need is someone who is truly committed to the relationship, who loves you with all their heart, and who checks most of the boxes below.

According to psychology, these are the 8 signs you’ve found your life partner.

1) Your inner child feels safe

Is it common for you and your partner to talk in cute voices that would scare off an unsuspecting stranger?

Become a member.

Couples who speak in the so-called “baby voice” are actually in a healthy relationship, contrary to popular belief.

Research indicates that couples who sometimes speak in baby voices to each other are more secure and vulnerable.

Showing up as your most vulnerable self allows your inner child to express themselves freely and in a playful way.

This means you don’t fear your partner’s judgment. You know you can be yourself and get the love and affection you deserve.

As a result, your relationship is built on trust, authenticity, and respect, which are all vital components of a long-term relationship.

2) Your core values are in alignment

I’m sure you’ve read this in every dating article on the internet, but it doesn’t make it any less true.

There should be a match between your core values.

It might seem trivial to have a partner whose values differ from yours – after all, you’re both adults who can respect each other’s differences, right?

However, I can tell you from personal experience that eventually, it all piles up.

What’s the reason?

Your values will either shift to match theirs as you fall in love with your partner, live with them, and maybe even marry them, or they will continue to clash until it all becomes too much.

While you don’t have to agree on everything, it’s important to write down your five most important values and ensure your partner is on the same page.

In my last relationship, I didn’t do any of this, and over time, I realized I had distanced myself from my true self.

Your most integral values must align if you want a life partner.

3) You’re best friends

My friendship with one of my exes was quite weak after I got with him.

Our romantic and sexual relationships were great, but our conversations rarely lasted more than twenty minutes.

When we went on a trip, I knew I would have had more fun with one of my girlfriends since we didn’t have much in common.

Maintaining friendships with others alongside your romantic relationship is extremely important. Don’t let your partner be your only best friend.

The leading expert on emotions, Aaron Ben-Zeév Ph.D., says:

“Friendship is not an emotion, but a personal relation necessary for an enduring, flourishing relationship. As friendship is based on shared history, it often grows over time, unlike sexual desire, which fades with time.”

Your life partner shouldn’t just be chosen based on your romantic and sexual connection. Those may eventually fade.

Companionship is what matters most in the long run.

Do you laugh together? Do you go on fun dates? Do you feel heard and understood?

Those are the things that really matter.

4) You both put in consistent effort

To keep a person in your life, you can’t take them for granted and not nurture your relationship.

The importance of this cannot be overstated.

If left untouched, people don’t last for centuries.

A person is like a river, ever-flowing and ever-changing, and the only way you can ensure that they stay by your side is to go where the current takes you. You need to learn how to swim and put that skill to work.

There will be times when you don’t have the energy to go on a date every week. Sure, the relationship won’t always be a priority.

Nevertheless, effort should be the general pattern.

If your partner is having a rough time at work, cook a romantic dinner. Clean the kitchen even if you’re tired, since it’ll make their morning easier. Plan dates and activities.

Make sure you show up.

Do you really want to spend time with your partner if you don’t show up for each other? Or are you just afraid of uncertainty?

The question is, what should I do?

5) Conflict pushes your relationship forward

Conflict is generally viewed as a negative thing, isn’t it?

That is, until it isn’t.

Harvard Medical School Professor Eugene Beresin, M.D., M.A., believes that “relationships become stronger, more enduring, and closer when conflicts are resolved.”

In the absence of conflict, there would be no need for change, which ultimately goes against human nature.

If you have a life partner, tension and conflict are bound to appear at some point. We all change. We face challenges. We learn.

What matters is how you handle the conflict.

A partner for life shouldn’t run away at the slightest inconvenience. They shouldn’t make you feel alone when you’re drowning or let you bear the entire burden of the relationship.

A huge sign you’ve found your life partner is that every disagreement pushes your relationship forward rather than backward.

Communicate, set boundaries, learn, and grow together.

6) You love your partner for who they are, not who they could be

One of my past relationships was recently discussed with my therapist, and she said, “It seems you were in love with his potential rather than the person right in front of you.”

Her assessment of the relationship was spot on.

My ex kept promising that he would change for the better, but his promises never materialized.

I know plenty of people who have changed while in a relationship, strengthening their connection with their partner in the process.

You should, however, keep in mind how many times your partner has tried and failed to make an important change.

In the long run, if your partner lacks initiative but doesn’t take any concrete steps to change, you are likely to complain about the exact same problem five years from now.

Ask yourself: “Will spending my life with this person make me happy if nothing changes?”

7) The relationship is a place of calm and stability rather than chaos

Life is more than just romance, as we both know.

The majority of us desire a romantic partner, but we also strive for a fulfilling career, a hobby that makes us feel alive, enriching friendships, and unforgettable experiences.

You might not be able to flourish in other areas of your life if your relationship is chaotic.

Our partners have a tremendous impact on our mental and physical well-being.

Your partner doesn’t make you feel safe and doesn’t consistently show up for you, and you’ll constantly feel frustrated, scared, panicked, anxious, and stressed if you’re stuck in a cycle of chaos.

As a result, these feelings will cloud your day-to-day life, contributing to a lack of focus at work, weaker friendships, and an overall feeling of emotional exhaustion.

You have the time and energy to pursue your dreams and fulfill your potential in life if your relationship is calm and stable.

You need your life partner to support you and lift you up.

8) You choose each other when it matters

The concept of emotional support goes beyond rooting for each other and allowing each other to follow their dreams.

When it matters, it’s also about choosing and prioritizing the relationship.

Here we aren’t talking about a one-month summer romance. This is your life partner.

Ultimately, this is the person you want sitting next to you when you’re 80 and rocking.

Be sure you both value the connection you’ve built with each other. Choose the relationship when it counts.